Why Is My Anxiety Flaring Up So Bad? Why Has It Suddenly Worsened?
- Rachelle
- Jul 31, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Feb 6
As someone who has experienced the overwhelming weight of anxiety, I understand how confusing and scary it can be when your anxiety suddenly flares up and feels worse than ever.
You've done all the things, right? It's a tick for all the tips from places like the Mayo Clinic, Beyond Blue or the NHS but you're still feeling trapped and helpless by the out of control reactions you're experiencing in your body.
Let's explore why your anxiety might be worsening and what you can do about it.
Anxiety Is A Cover Emotion: Understanding Anxiety as a Signal
At Noetic Therapy & Coaching, a key principle to relieving anxiety is understanding that anxiety is not just an emotion; it's a signal pointing towards deeper, unprocessed emotions.
What is a Cover Emotion?
A cover emotion is an emotion that is expressed outwardly but conceal a deeper, often more vulnerable emotion underneath. People may display a cover emotion as a way of protecting themselves or avoiding dealing with the underlying feeling that may be more painful or difficult to acknowledge.
For example, someone might show anger (a cover emotion) to hide feelings of sadness, fear, or embarrassment. In this case, anger serves as a defensive mechanism, providing a sense of control or strength, whereas the underlying emotions may be perceived as making the person feel vulnerable or exposed.
Culturally, it is more acceptable for men to be angry rather than sad or ashamed. Men will often exhibit anger more intensely and more often.
Similarly, it is more acceptable in our society for women to be sad rather than angry or enraged ('bitch much?!') so women will often use sadness as a cover emotion.
Anxiety Is A Cover Emotion
From my own journey and in my work, I've seen that, for women, anxiety very often a cover emotion when we haven't fully processed our primary emotions and feelings, such as fear, sadness, or anger.
Many of us, especially those from conservative or deeply religious backgrounds, have learned to suppress these emotions and be who we thought we needed to be. This suppression is like a pressure cooker, eventually manifesting as overwhelming anxiety.
Why Is My Anxiety Flaring Up So Bad?
Unprocessed Emotions Anxiety often signals deeper emotions that haven't been fully acknowledged, felt or processed. When these emotions are suppressed, they manifest as anxiety, alerting us to internal issues that need attention.
Suppression of Feelings As discussed, many of us are conditioned to suppress our emotions, particularly in environments with strict societal or familial norms. This leads to an accumulation of emotional tension in the body, all the physical sensations that come with emotions, called the somatic experience, are also suppressed. Left unfelt, they will present as anxiety symptoms.
Trauma and Emotional Wounds Unresolved traumas and emotional wounds in our psyche can leave lasting emotional impacts, continuing to manifest as anxiety if not addressed.
The Role of Life Transitions and Somatic Experiences
Major life changes, such as career shifts, relationship changes, or health issues, can trigger anxiety by bringing unresolved emotions to the surface. Our bodies hold onto these experiences, especially those that are traumatic or emotionally charged. This physical memory can manifest as anxiety, particularly when we're not consciously aware of the emotions tied to these experiences.
Why Has My Anxiety Suddenly Worsened?
Triggers and Sensory Overload I understand how sudden spikes in anxiety can occur when exposed to triggers or sensory overload. This could be due to unresolved past traumas or overwhelming environments. The challenge is that often, we are completely unaware of the trigger so the anxiety feels as though it is 'out of the blue'.
Emotional Bottleneck When emotions are not regularly processed, they build up, leading to a sudden increase in anxiety. This "overflow" effect happens as the body and mind struggle to manage the accumulated emotional load.
Practical Steps to Manage and Transform Anxiety
Tune into Your Body There are many, many ways to tune into your own body, a few are listed at Mindful.org. My personal go to is to put on a timer for 2 minutes, place my hands together with all my fingers touching and rest them in my lap.
Conscious Breathwork The breath is what alchemises the energy out of the body, releasing the stored energy. This is the MOST important skill to learn. Even the most elite athletes in the world (I'm looking at you Djokovic!) know conscious breathing is critical. There are many, many different forms of conscious breathing - its quite a rabbit hole to explore.Personally, I like to focus on breathing into my diaghphragm (the space between my belly button and my lower ribs). I deliberately move to extending the exhale, making it double as many counts as the inhale (ie. 4 counts inhale, 8 counts exhale).
Discover the Deeper Emotion There is only 1 question to ask to discover the underlying emotions behind anxiety: What emotion am I feeling? Sounds easy right?! It is! However, there is a caveat: the answer MUST be an emotion - Grumpy? not an emotion. Cranky? not an emotion. To help you find the emotion, I suggest using an Emotion Wheel to help identify the emotion and build your emotional vocabulary. My clients use this one. If anxiety is the emotion, ask the question again until you feel the deeper emotion.
Process the Deeper Emotion Breathe. That's it. It will pass in 90 seconds. You can read more about this process here.
Using Anxiety As A Positive Force
Bringing the unconscious into awareness I encourage you to see anxiety not just as a negative experience but as a lighthouse - a signpost that guides us, warning of things below the surface of which we are not consciously aware.
A reminder to focus on what we WANT Once youve become aware what is playing across your unconscious mind, it is easy to see what we imagined that was causing the anxiety was the antithesis of what we would like to experience. The anxiety becomes a reminder to focus on what we want to experience or achieve. This perspective shift can transform anxiety into a constructive force, encouraging proactive and positive thinking about the future.
By understanding and addressing the underlying emotions that anxiety signals, we can transform it into a positive guiding force.
'But Rachelle, this is a lot. And I'm not sure I am brave enough to do it on my own.'
It is a lot of work, I know. And sometimes, even though we have the best of intentions, it's hard to keep ourselves accountable to doing the emotional hygiene work required to manage anxiety. If you're ready to turn your anxiety into a powerful tool for personal growth, and know you would benefit from someone guiding you, helping you learn how to process your emotions and keep you accountable: I invite you to book a free 1:1 call with me.
Together, we can work to build safety within your body, to explore and process the root causes of your anxiety, and unlock your potential for a fulfilling life.
With Love and Respect,
Rachelle
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